I guess I’m like a lot of ex-husbands that REALLY didn’t expect that my former spouse would completely block me from any access to the kids.
She recently told me that “it’s not in the best interest of the children if they hear that you miss them” – and that she is “not in agreement” for me to phone my 11 year old daughter and 15 year old son, let alone watch them in their sporting activities or take them out for lunch.
For the past FIVE months, I’ve been trying to talk to the kids and see them. To date I was able to take them both out for supper together once about four mouths ago – then, after they had been in school for over two months, I was able to manipulate a TEN MINUTE visit with the kids because it was my son’s 15th birthday.
Until now, my ex-wife has strung me along with “not at this time”… for months and months and months.
As many of you readers know – there is nothing like the nurturing bond that a parent feels for their children. After spending nearly five years as the Work-At-Home Father, tending daily to the needs and schedules of the kids – it is entirely gut-wrenching to stand here powerless as my angry and spiteful ex-wife engages in all the painful and destructive behaviours of Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Thankfully – I know the kids are old enough to know in their heart that they love me. My son gave me a wonderful hug when I saw him on his birthday – and my daughter was all smiles when I noticed she had lost some teeth. It was a great visit for me… and those ten minutes made me walk on air for days and days! I even began to think my ex-wife was starting to release some anger and relax a bit…
But no. In front of my daughter – I was flatly denied permission for a visit “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” she says. I asked “Why not?” She answered “lets just see how things go…” And she said goodbye and hung up.
And- after about a week and another two phone calls with my ex-wife – she has stated that the only way I’m ever going to get visitation with the kids is if I get the Court to order it – and she says “Good Luck” with a snide tone of voice.
(now if you can - imagine Yosemity Sam with a red face and steam escaping from under his shirt around his neck as he bounces around shooting his guns at the ground, cursing in fury.)
Until now, I’ve been a good ex-husband. I’ve said a few choice words, and even quoted a nasty name her second husband called her – but, overall, I’ve been good ex-husband… left her with the house AND the car, plus all the contents of the house – and I’m paying more than double the child support rate that my wage requires as we sort out the separation agreement…
But - now that I have to go through court to see my kids…
Now I feel that all co-operation should stop.
What I mean is, if I have to go through court to get rights to see my kids, then she should have to go through court to get rights to child support payments from me.
Ok – I’ve been avoiding writting here over the past while because I’m trying to keep my mind focused on what I want – and not focused on the lack of what I want, and not focused on what I do not want. When I’m focused on what I want – I sure as hell ain’t workin’ on dealing with this mess of a divorce… I’m building my career and future.
However – without my kids in my life – at least once a week for lunch or a hot-chocolate – and a couple weekends each year… then I’m really struggling. I’m struggling in everything.
